How I Feel About Umm... Myself

People think I come off as being conceited and self aborbed because I constantly worry about the way I look and I'm not ashamed to say when I look good. The fact that I love taking pictures of myself doesn't help the fact that people feel the way they do about me but the truth is I'm far from conceited. I actually have a lot of things to be self concious about I just dont let those thoughts consume me to the point where I hate the way I look cuz I actually love myself a whole lot.

The reason why I spend a lot of time, money, and energy on the way I look is because I feel like the way you look can make a big difference in how you feel about yourself and how you carry yourself. Personally looking nice even when its nothing extra special gives me an extra boost of confidence and it also has an affect on how people see you.

You can say all you want that you don't care what people think of you but most people who say that are lying and if your not then you should care. The way people percieve you determines how they will treat you so to some extent it is important to put your best face forward if you expect to be respected.

Lastly, I think one of the most important reasons to have to look good as much as possible is for the simple fact that you never really know who you may run into in life. You could find yourself unexpectely encountering a long lost friend, your worst enemey, your dream job, the man/woman of your dreams, or anything that can be life changing and those are all things you wanna make a good first impression on and the best way to do that before you even open your mouth is with your physical apperance. Cuz lets face it, all those situations are not one that you want the person you are encountering to think as they walk past you "damn he/she looks horrible, I definitly don't want to be bothered with them", or anything similar to that. I guess the moral of my blog is that as long as I look good, then its all good!!!

Life

Life is mad hard. Gosh. I feel so overwhelmed emotionally and I can't help but to feel like I'm doing it to myself.
My parents told me some things about myself that made me feel good and realize what a strong and unique individual I am. We were talking about my brothers or something and somewhere along the convo we got to me and my mom was like "Dee Dee does for Dee Dee" and how I'm always concered about my needs and my happiness. I didn't really know how to take it because it sounded like such a negative, selfish, quality but it was so true I couldn't even be mad or upset. My dad agreed and I still stood there not saying a word. They continued to talk about how from the time I was little I always wanted what I wanted and did whatever I could to get it. That kinda made me smile because that was true too. My dad went on to say how he was talking to my uncle about me going away to school and that he was so proud of me. My uncle said I am someone who knows what they want in life and works hard for it. Another smile came across my face because that was true. They spoke about how they used to be worried about me because of my horrible attitude (another true statement) but one of my Aunts encouraged my mom to let me be because one day my mouth will benifit her lol. My dad was saying how ummm.... I had a good work ethic when it comes to school, gym, work, and just about anything that has to do directly with Dee Dee and that I just don't put in the same amount of work when it comes to anything else. I guess he said that to my uncle and his response was something like nobodys perfect.
I realized in this convo all about ME that a lot of people are taking notice in my ambition and ummm stuff which makes me wanna work harder at just about everything. I also learned that I should probably try hard at applying my attitude towards myself to other's so that then can benifit a little bit from my greatness. Sometimes talking to the parents is good.

ITS ALMOST TIME!!!!

So im just sitting here refecting on what was a pretty good day, and I have to say I feel pretty accomplished. I got a paper back from my english class A- which is not bad at all ^_^. Called up my future school and made sure everything was going smoothly with my transition which put me at ease since I was soo worried about my credits not being able to transfer but its all good now.
The only thing I really have stressing me out is financial issues. I am 5 months away from leaving gross Poughkeepsie forever which would be a good amount of time to get rid of my debt (shopaholic smh) but I only plan on working until the end of June so not only do I have to pay off my credit cards, I also have to start paying for my summer classes and still have money left over for when Im at school. So much to do in so little time what did I get myself into lol.
Regaurdless, I'm excited about my future and with each day that comes I get more excited and more anxious for my life to really begin!

Memories Don't Live Like People Do

Procrastination

Procrastiating is no bueno. Especially when you have a 4 page paper to write due in less than 24 hours and you don't know what to write. The End.

Seasons

Sitting here vibing to some reggae music and today made me recount a conversation I had with Ashely a while ago (yesterday). I was talking to her about a situation that occured between me and someone else and she was telling me how people come and go in your life for a reason. And I agreed saying that some people are ment to be in your life forever and some are just seasons, they come, they go, you move on to the next one......

Baby Let Me Downgrade You (?)

Keeping this blog nice and short. Hopefully. Basically I liked someone a lot and I guess you can say he broke my heart even though that phrase makes me feel uncomfortable. But I'm over it to some extent but its funny to see what people move on to after they quit you but whatever works for you I guess. If reducing you standards to someone who's illiterate and clearly immature for thier age works for you. If she was pretty that would make it worth it I guess but ehhh.... on that note I'm done blogging.