blog

Sooo I'm definitly supposed to be writng an essay right now but I felt like blogging. Today was bad I just don't wanna talk about it. But this weekend I learned some things about myself and some other people.



The subject of religon came up with two of my friends at the mall on thursday. I wasn't going as hard conversation wise as they were cuz there definitly more religous then I am. I was kinda just listening. I guess it was the part that they were talking about attending church and if it made you religous. I was saying how I was baptized in the same church as one of the girls in the convo and I havent gone on a regular basis since I was like 5. I'm not gonna front I don't feel any type of way about it for the simple fact that I think church is filled with judgemental hypocrites. She was saying that she agrees and that going to church isn't about the people within the congregation its about you strenghening your relationship with God. And having a relationship with God has nothing to do with going to church its about praying and keeping him close to you spiritually.



Someone tried to hook me up on saturday. FAIL! My aunt actually...well shes not really my aunt but I wish she was cuz shes mad cool. Her son brought his friend to a family gathering this past weekend and I guess I was supposed to talk to him lmao... I mean I said hi I don't think I was being rude but he was just far from being my type. She was like don't you wanna go over there and talk to him. I'm like about what???? lol

So its safe to say I will never truly understand males. One of my friends is havin relationship issues. Nothing too out of the ordinary but I refuse to go into detail on the computer. Listening to her, I'm just realizing how similar our stories are. Not just me and her but females in general. I don't understand why good, compassionate, beautiful individuals like ourselves put ourselves though these type of things smh. I just think its important to know what your getting into 100% before jumping in a relationship whether is romantic, friendship, or anything else. We all have our baggage it could be emotional such as loss of trust in others, or physical such as over bearing ex's , child from a previous relationship or issues with the parents of your significant other.

This weekend I had someone who supposed to be close to me try to put me on the spot in a negative way. Two words-No bueno. Its not like I had the best relationship with this person in the past like we had our ups and downs (more downs then ups) but your supposed to get over stuff like that and move on, especially when its family. I guess thats not the case

So in conclusion I learned this weekend:
1. A relationship with God doesn't have everything to do with religon and church. Its spiritual and personal between you and Him

2. I shouldn't let the actions of others affect wheather I want to go to church or not or if I wanna do anything else for that matter.

3. Don't trust others to hook you up with someone. Not that I ever did lol. But yea if you want something to be done right you gotta do it yourself

4.People don't truly change they just become more of what they were so don't give anyone the benefit of the doubt

5.You can't change what people do to you in relationships but you can change your reaction to there actions.

6. Know what your getting into before you start up a relationship. Its important to make sure your fully aware of others intentions and make sure there worth the potential drama they bring before your end up in a situation you regret.

I can honestly say thta even though this blog has little to do with why I'm in such a bad mood, writing definitly made my heart a little less heavy.

A Product of my Enviroment

OO EMM GEEE! I soo don't even know where to start with this blog of mines about Dutchess Community College aka Harvard on the (gross) Hudson. Dutchess was pretty much the last place I expected to spend to next two years of my life. Mainly because I thought that if I stayed in this town after high school any longer I would end up pregnant. And if you lived in pk you would understand my fears 100%. I'm glad to say that almost two years later that has yet to happen! But that is besides the point.

Going to Dutchess has done a lot to help me become prepared for what is in store for me in the real world. I learned so much about myself as far as the person I am and the person I want to be in the future. I made a few friends and lost a few more. I made mistakes and learned (well I'm still learning) when it is time to let go and umm forgive others for theirs. For me that has been the hardest thing for me learn. Forgiveness. I always expected others to forgive me for my mistakes and for hurting them but never gave anyone the time of day to even hear their apology. Maybe its my selfish tendancies that makes me think that as long as I'm sorry I should be forgiven by someone but not vice versa.

Or maybe I'm just protecting myself from being hurt by peopleagain. I have gone through more than people think and I don't know if anyone will ever truly understand.I heard so many times I'm to selfish, too emotional, too sensitive, too mean, self centered, disrespectful,angry,bitchy....umm yea I can go on all day.

But everyone is aloud to think what they want thats cool have your own opinons about me. But at the end of the day I am the way I am because I'm just looking out for myself. If I don't then who will come on lets be real. What can I say im just a product of my enviroment like everyone else .

This blog was supposed to be more about school but I guess when your on a roll you can't help but to keep it going.

So Here I GO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So this right here is the first of hopefully many blogs that I will be writing. I'm not 100% sure what possesed me to begin this whole thing. Maybe because I used to write a lot and I miss it. Or it could have something to do with the fact that one of my besties blogs and I'm trying to be just like her. Or not lol . Either way, I'm now officially a blogger and thats the way its gonna be for a little while.

I guess I should start with an introduction of ummm...myself. My name is none of your business so I expect you to call me dee dee. I love love love music and fashion and have a lot of debt to prove it. My two brothers are my world and my fam a lam overall is just crazy but in a calm way which is wierd.

Guess what?? I have friends lol. That has always been an issue with me and it took me almost my whole life to find some genuine ones but I found them. I love them to death and their probably gonna be in my life forever cuz they have no choice.

I bet you did'nt know I was a princess.. yup ^_^. The only girl in my family and I would'nt have it any other way. I cannot in life imagine having a sister to share my stuff with because I have too many selfish tendancies smh but I'm working on them at the age of 19 years old but better late then never right???

Growing up is hard and I really don't wanna do it which would probably explain why people think I talk/act/think kind of childish but what can I say I'm a big kid at heart. This is something else that I'm working on lol.

Even with my semi childish attitude you will quickly learn that I am someone who takes my life seriously and is a hard worker. I'm mean but compassionate, selfish yet giving, emotional but not weak, and responsible while still being able to make the stupidest mistakes you can ever in life imagine..... Overall you have be a very strong paitent person to deal with me lol... but on that note I am calling it a night with the blogging.