People think I come off as being conceited and self aborbed because I constantly worry about the way I look and I'm not ashamed to say when I look good. The fact that I love taking pictures of myself doesn't help the fact that people feel the way they do about me but the truth is I'm far from conceited. I actually have a lot of things to be self concious about I just dont let those thoughts consume me to the point where I hate the way I look cuz I actually love myself a whole lot.
The reason why I spend a lot of time, money, and energy on the way I look is because I feel like the way you look can make a big difference in how you feel about yourself and how you carry yourself. Personally looking nice even when its nothing extra special gives me an extra boost of confidence and it also has an affect on how people see you.
You can say all you want that you don't care what people think of you but most people who say that are lying and if your not then you should care. The way people percieve you determines how they will treat you so to some extent it is important to put your best face forward if you expect to be respected.
Lastly, I think one of the most important reasons to have to look good as much as possible is for the simple fact that you never really know who you may run into in life. You could find yourself unexpectely encountering a long lost friend, your worst enemey, your dream job, the man/woman of your dreams, or anything that can be life changing and those are all things you wanna make a good first impression on and the best way to do that before you even open your mouth is with your physical apperance. Cuz lets face it, all those situations are not one that you want the person you are encountering to think as they walk past you "damn he/she looks horrible, I definitly don't want to be bothered with them", or anything similar to that. I guess the moral of my blog is that as long as I look good, then its all good!!!
Thursday, July 8, 2010
Thursday, April 29, 2010
Life
Life is mad hard. Gosh. I feel so overwhelmed emotionally and I can't help but to feel like I'm doing it to myself.
My parents told me some things about myself that made me feel good and realize what a strong and unique individual I am. We were talking about my brothers or something and somewhere along the convo we got to me and my mom was like "Dee Dee does for Dee Dee" and how I'm always concered about my needs and my happiness. I didn't really know how to take it because it sounded like such a negative, selfish, quality but it was so true I couldn't even be mad or upset. My dad agreed and I still stood there not saying a word. They continued to talk about how from the time I was little I always wanted what I wanted and did whatever I could to get it. That kinda made me smile because that was true too. My dad went on to say how he was talking to my uncle about me going away to school and that he was so proud of me. My uncle said I am someone who knows what they want in life and works hard for it. Another smile came across my face because that was true. They spoke about how they used to be worried about me because of my horrible attitude (another true statement) but one of my Aunts encouraged my mom to let me be because one day my mouth will benifit her lol. My dad was saying how ummm.... I had a good work ethic when it comes to school, gym, work, and just about anything that has to do directly with Dee Dee and that I just don't put in the same amount of work when it comes to anything else. I guess he said that to my uncle and his response was something like nobodys perfect.
I realized in this convo all about ME that a lot of people are taking notice in my ambition and ummm stuff which makes me wanna work harder at just about everything. I also learned that I should probably try hard at applying my attitude towards myself to other's so that then can benifit a little bit from my greatness. Sometimes talking to the parents is good.
My parents told me some things about myself that made me feel good and realize what a strong and unique individual I am. We were talking about my brothers or something and somewhere along the convo we got to me and my mom was like "Dee Dee does for Dee Dee" and how I'm always concered about my needs and my happiness. I didn't really know how to take it because it sounded like such a negative, selfish, quality but it was so true I couldn't even be mad or upset. My dad agreed and I still stood there not saying a word. They continued to talk about how from the time I was little I always wanted what I wanted and did whatever I could to get it. That kinda made me smile because that was true too. My dad went on to say how he was talking to my uncle about me going away to school and that he was so proud of me. My uncle said I am someone who knows what they want in life and works hard for it. Another smile came across my face because that was true. They spoke about how they used to be worried about me because of my horrible attitude (another true statement) but one of my Aunts encouraged my mom to let me be because one day my mouth will benifit her lol. My dad was saying how ummm.... I had a good work ethic when it comes to school, gym, work, and just about anything that has to do directly with Dee Dee and that I just don't put in the same amount of work when it comes to anything else. I guess he said that to my uncle and his response was something like nobodys perfect.
I realized in this convo all about ME that a lot of people are taking notice in my ambition and ummm stuff which makes me wanna work harder at just about everything. I also learned that I should probably try hard at applying my attitude towards myself to other's so that then can benifit a little bit from my greatness. Sometimes talking to the parents is good.
Monday, April 5, 2010
ITS ALMOST TIME!!!!
So im just sitting here refecting on what was a pretty good day, and I have to say I feel pretty accomplished. I got a paper back from my english class A- which is not bad at all ^_^. Called up my future school and made sure everything was going smoothly with my transition which put me at ease since I was soo worried about my credits not being able to transfer but its all good now.
The only thing I really have stressing me out is financial issues. I am 5 months away from leaving gross Poughkeepsie forever which would be a good amount of time to get rid of my debt (shopaholic smh) but I only plan on working until the end of June so not only do I have to pay off my credit cards, I also have to start paying for my summer classes and still have money left over for when Im at school. So much to do in so little time what did I get myself into lol.
Regaurdless, I'm excited about my future and with each day that comes I get more excited and more anxious for my life to really begin!
The only thing I really have stressing me out is financial issues. I am 5 months away from leaving gross Poughkeepsie forever which would be a good amount of time to get rid of my debt (shopaholic smh) but I only plan on working until the end of June so not only do I have to pay off my credit cards, I also have to start paying for my summer classes and still have money left over for when Im at school. So much to do in so little time what did I get myself into lol.
Regaurdless, I'm excited about my future and with each day that comes I get more excited and more anxious for my life to really begin!
Saturday, April 3, 2010
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
Procrastination
Procrastiating is no bueno. Especially when you have a 4 page paper to write due in less than 24 hours and you don't know what to write. The End.
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
Seasons
Sitting here vibing to some reggae music and today made me recount a conversation I had with Ashely a while ago (yesterday). I was talking to her about a situation that occured between me and someone else and she was telling me how people come and go in your life for a reason. And I agreed saying that some people are ment to be in your life forever and some are just seasons, they come, they go, you move on to the next one......
Friday, March 12, 2010
Baby Let Me Downgrade You (?)
Keeping this blog nice and short. Hopefully. Basically I liked someone a lot and I guess you can say he broke my heart even though that phrase makes me feel uncomfortable. But I'm over it to some extent but its funny to see what people move on to after they quit you but whatever works for you I guess. If reducing you standards to someone who's illiterate and clearly immature for thier age works for you. If she was pretty that would make it worth it I guess but ehhh.... on that note I'm done blogging.
Monday, February 22, 2010
blog
Sooo I'm definitly supposed to be writng an essay right now but I felt like blogging. Today was bad I just don't wanna talk about it. But this weekend I learned some things about myself and some other people.
The subject of religon came up with two of my friends at the mall on thursday. I wasn't going as hard conversation wise as they were cuz there definitly more religous then I am. I was kinda just listening. I guess it was the part that they were talking about attending church and if it made you religous. I was saying how I was baptized in the same church as one of the girls in the convo and I havent gone on a regular basis since I was like 5. I'm not gonna front I don't feel any type of way about it for the simple fact that I think church is filled with judgemental hypocrites. She was saying that she agrees and that going to church isn't about the people within the congregation its about you strenghening your relationship with God. And having a relationship with God has nothing to do with going to church its about praying and keeping him close to you spiritually.
Someone tried to hook me up on saturday. FAIL! My aunt actually...well shes not really my aunt but I wish she was cuz shes mad cool. Her son brought his friend to a family gathering this past weekend and I guess I was supposed to talk to him lmao... I mean I said hi I don't think I was being rude but he was just far from being my type. She was like don't you wanna go over there and talk to him. I'm like about what???? lol
So its safe to say I will never truly understand males. One of my friends is havin relationship issues. Nothing too out of the ordinary but I refuse to go into detail on the computer. Listening to her, I'm just realizing how similar our stories are. Not just me and her but females in general. I don't understand why good, compassionate, beautiful individuals like ourselves put ourselves though these type of things smh. I just think its important to know what your getting into 100% before jumping in a relationship whether is romantic, friendship, or anything else. We all have our baggage it could be emotional such as loss of trust in others, or physical such as over bearing ex's , child from a previous relationship or issues with the parents of your significant other.
This weekend I had someone who supposed to be close to me try to put me on the spot in a negative way. Two words-No bueno. Its not like I had the best relationship with this person in the past like we had our ups and downs (more downs then ups) but your supposed to get over stuff like that and move on, especially when its family. I guess thats not the case
So in conclusion I learned this weekend:
1. A relationship with God doesn't have everything to do with religon and church. Its spiritual and personal between you and Him
2. I shouldn't let the actions of others affect wheather I want to go to church or not or if I wanna do anything else for that matter.
3. Don't trust others to hook you up with someone. Not that I ever did lol. But yea if you want something to be done right you gotta do it yourself
4.People don't truly change they just become more of what they were so don't give anyone the benefit of the doubt
5.You can't change what people do to you in relationships but you can change your reaction to there actions.
6. Know what your getting into before you start up a relationship. Its important to make sure your fully aware of others intentions and make sure there worth the potential drama they bring before your end up in a situation you regret.
I can honestly say thta even though this blog has little to do with why I'm in such a bad mood, writing definitly made my heart a little less heavy.
The subject of religon came up with two of my friends at the mall on thursday. I wasn't going as hard conversation wise as they were cuz there definitly more religous then I am. I was kinda just listening. I guess it was the part that they were talking about attending church and if it made you religous. I was saying how I was baptized in the same church as one of the girls in the convo and I havent gone on a regular basis since I was like 5. I'm not gonna front I don't feel any type of way about it for the simple fact that I think church is filled with judgemental hypocrites. She was saying that she agrees and that going to church isn't about the people within the congregation its about you strenghening your relationship with God. And having a relationship with God has nothing to do with going to church its about praying and keeping him close to you spiritually.
Someone tried to hook me up on saturday. FAIL! My aunt actually...well shes not really my aunt but I wish she was cuz shes mad cool. Her son brought his friend to a family gathering this past weekend and I guess I was supposed to talk to him lmao... I mean I said hi I don't think I was being rude but he was just far from being my type. She was like don't you wanna go over there and talk to him. I'm like about what???? lol
So its safe to say I will never truly understand males. One of my friends is havin relationship issues. Nothing too out of the ordinary but I refuse to go into detail on the computer. Listening to her, I'm just realizing how similar our stories are. Not just me and her but females in general. I don't understand why good, compassionate, beautiful individuals like ourselves put ourselves though these type of things smh. I just think its important to know what your getting into 100% before jumping in a relationship whether is romantic, friendship, or anything else. We all have our baggage it could be emotional such as loss of trust in others, or physical such as over bearing ex's , child from a previous relationship or issues with the parents of your significant other.
This weekend I had someone who supposed to be close to me try to put me on the spot in a negative way. Two words-No bueno. Its not like I had the best relationship with this person in the past like we had our ups and downs (more downs then ups) but your supposed to get over stuff like that and move on, especially when its family. I guess thats not the case
So in conclusion I learned this weekend:
1. A relationship with God doesn't have everything to do with religon and church. Its spiritual and personal between you and Him
2. I shouldn't let the actions of others affect wheather I want to go to church or not or if I wanna do anything else for that matter.
3. Don't trust others to hook you up with someone. Not that I ever did lol. But yea if you want something to be done right you gotta do it yourself
4.People don't truly change they just become more of what they were so don't give anyone the benefit of the doubt
5.You can't change what people do to you in relationships but you can change your reaction to there actions.
6. Know what your getting into before you start up a relationship. Its important to make sure your fully aware of others intentions and make sure there worth the potential drama they bring before your end up in a situation you regret.
I can honestly say thta even though this blog has little to do with why I'm in such a bad mood, writing definitly made my heart a little less heavy.
Monday, February 15, 2010
A Product of my Enviroment
OO EMM GEEE! I soo don't even know where to start with this blog of mines about Dutchess Community College aka Harvard on the (gross) Hudson. Dutchess was pretty much the last place I expected to spend to next two years of my life. Mainly because I thought that if I stayed in this town after high school any longer I would end up pregnant. And if you lived in pk you would understand my fears 100%. I'm glad to say that almost two years later that has yet to happen! But that is besides the point.
Going to Dutchess has done a lot to help me become prepared for what is in store for me in the real world. I learned so much about myself as far as the person I am and the person I want to be in the future. I made a few friends and lost a few more. I made mistakes and learned (well I'm still learning) when it is time to let go and umm forgive others for theirs. For me that has been the hardest thing for me learn. Forgiveness. I always expected others to forgive me for my mistakes and for hurting them but never gave anyone the time of day to even hear their apology. Maybe its my selfish tendancies that makes me think that as long as I'm sorry I should be forgiven by someone but not vice versa.
Or maybe I'm just protecting myself from being hurt by peopleagain. I have gone through more than people think and I don't know if anyone will ever truly understand.I heard so many times I'm to selfish, too emotional, too sensitive, too mean, self centered, disrespectful,angry,bitchy....umm yea I can go on all day.
But everyone is aloud to think what they want thats cool have your own opinons about me. But at the end of the day I am the way I am because I'm just looking out for myself. If I don't then who will come on lets be real. What can I say im just a product of my enviroment like everyone else .
This blog was supposed to be more about school but I guess when your on a roll you can't help but to keep it going.
Going to Dutchess has done a lot to help me become prepared for what is in store for me in the real world. I learned so much about myself as far as the person I am and the person I want to be in the future. I made a few friends and lost a few more. I made mistakes and learned (well I'm still learning) when it is time to let go and umm forgive others for theirs. For me that has been the hardest thing for me learn. Forgiveness. I always expected others to forgive me for my mistakes and for hurting them but never gave anyone the time of day to even hear their apology. Maybe its my selfish tendancies that makes me think that as long as I'm sorry I should be forgiven by someone but not vice versa.
Or maybe I'm just protecting myself from being hurt by peopleagain. I have gone through more than people think and I don't know if anyone will ever truly understand.I heard so many times I'm to selfish, too emotional, too sensitive, too mean, self centered, disrespectful,angry,bitchy....umm yea I can go on all day.
But everyone is aloud to think what they want thats cool have your own opinons about me. But at the end of the day I am the way I am because I'm just looking out for myself. If I don't then who will come on lets be real. What can I say im just a product of my enviroment like everyone else .
This blog was supposed to be more about school but I guess when your on a roll you can't help but to keep it going.
Sunday, February 14, 2010
So Here I GO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
So this right here is the first of hopefully many blogs that I will be writing. I'm not 100% sure what possesed me to begin this whole thing. Maybe because I used to write a lot and I miss it. Or it could have something to do with the fact that one of my besties blogs and I'm trying to be just like her. Or not lol . Either way, I'm now officially a blogger and thats the way its gonna be for a little while.
I guess I should start with an introduction of ummm...myself. My name is none of your business so I expect you to call me dee dee. I love love love music and fashion and have a lot of debt to prove it. My two brothers are my world and my fam a lam overall is just crazy but in a calm way which is wierd.
Guess what?? I have friends lol. That has always been an issue with me and it took me almost my whole life to find some genuine ones but I found them. I love them to death and their probably gonna be in my life forever cuz they have no choice.
I bet you did'nt know I was a princess.. yup ^_^. The only girl in my family and I would'nt have it any other way. I cannot in life imagine having a sister to share my stuff with because I have too many selfish tendancies smh but I'm working on them at the age of 19 years old but better late then never right???
Growing up is hard and I really don't wanna do it which would probably explain why people think I talk/act/think kind of childish but what can I say I'm a big kid at heart. This is something else that I'm working on lol.
Even with my semi childish attitude you will quickly learn that I am someone who takes my life seriously and is a hard worker. I'm mean but compassionate, selfish yet giving, emotional but not weak, and responsible while still being able to make the stupidest mistakes you can ever in life imagine..... Overall you have be a very strong paitent person to deal with me lol... but on that note I am calling it a night with the blogging.
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